It's hard to beat a good line. I always add favorites here from my past work.
You're another year older. I would have said wiser, but you did a lot of dumb shit this year.
Birthday Greeting Card
I fell for your mother when she beat my windshield with screwdrivers.
What kind of lame, shell of a man would want to build a OH MY GOD THEY HAVE DARTH VADER.
When the party's over, do the dishes with lighter fluid and a lit cigarette.
Chinet Paper Plates